Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Ebola. Probably.

ALLIE BROSH

Originally published on 2/10/10 on Hyperbole and a Half

I took Boyfriend to the Emergency Room last night because he was vomiting up vast quantities of what I thought was blood but actually it was just¬†Craisins. You guys, if you feel like you may become violently ill in the near future,¬†stay away from red food. Failure to do so may create an atmosphere of unnecessary panic and chaos. 

Anyway, the doctor wanted to make sure that Boyfriend didn’t have SARS or stomach AIDS or something, so he had to poke him a lot. While he was doing this to Boyfriend, he pointed to a little reference chart on the wall and asked Boyfriend to rate his pain:

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